You are a celebrity simply because you are white

You don't get picky about the pronunciation of your name anymore, as long as it is in the same ballpark, that is good enough!

You respond to Mzungu just as if it was your real name

"MzunguhowareyyouI'mfine" is one word, and often the only English the speaker knows

"Yes, I am fine" is a normal response to, "hello"

You put your life into the hands of a piki-piki driver...and pray that you live

Worms, Malaria, amoebas, and typhoid are a common as a cold while chicken pox is a deadly disease

Hot tea is good in any weather

You consider yourself clean after bathing in lake water

Walking 2km to the doctor while sick is normal and expected

Rats and roaches..no big deal

You no longer get excited when you see monkeys...in fact, they can be rather obnoxious

You are asked to be in the weddings (and funerals) of people you've never met before

30+ people fit in a car

You ride on top of the Land Rover when there isn't room inside...and hope that you live

Deadly diseases and bodily function are normal conversation

You know the price you pay has a "skin tax" attached

You are asked daily if you know Obama, are related, or daily visit them and go on their family vacations...I'm his niece

When peeing in a bush is the safest decision you've made all day...way more sanitary than the toilet

Guarded escort at night is necessary to avoid hippo attacks

You shave in a bucket on the porch....that is if you shave at all

Two showers/hair washings a week seems excessive

Chocolate is a delicacy

A toilet you can poop in (and don't have to squat over a hole) is a luxury

A mosquito net protects you from anything and everything...it is your safety bubble

Electricity, when you have it it is a luxury and you often forget to use it and find yourself sitting idiotically in the dark...not having electricity is much more common

A traffic jam consists of a herd of cows blocking the road

Seeing a clean, stinkless squatty is pretty close to a miracle

Getting peed on by a baby is a weekly experience...you change clothes and move on

You get out of the shower and an hour later you still are covered in dirt

Everyone you see, young or old, greet you with a smile

Children fight to be the one to hold your hand

Some of the most gorgeous children you've ever seen run and greet you everyday

You start adding extra syllables to words...example Wellacome, helllathy, clothesas, etc.

You continually contemplate the question of rather you exist or not

Washing machine....revolutionary

You use buckets of water to use a non-functioning toilet

Food just becomes food...3 food options, INSANE!!!

When someone offers to iron your clothes you look at them dumbfounded

You start interjecting "Amen" and "Praise God" into normal conversation when all it really requires is a yes...or maybe...silence? NO WAY

People apologize when you break their things....still bewildered by it

Cardboard boxes are your drawers, personal storage, and keepsake area...DON'T TOUCH!!

70 degrees is considered freezing weather. No joke!

You need a rain jacket...INSIDE the bus

You say "Eh" when you really mean "No way"

Showing kneecaps...Scandal!!!

Baking soda is used to exfoliate your face

Boiling water for a shower...why bother

Putting on the same clothes you sweated in yesterday

You respond to hello with a "Yes, thank you"...don't ask why

  To put it in short, you do things that seem completely strange and gross to you at home, but it is perfectly common and sanitary here. Really, it has begun to seem so normal that it was really, really hard to even come up with this list. It gives us a lot of laughs and if you do any of these things in your day to day life you may just be....a missionary in Africa!