There has always been a place in my heart that has longed to be defined. A secret place in the inmost part of my heart that has longed for that indefinable something that only God can satisfy. An aspect of His character that I have longed to know, to touch, to see, but could never put into words. Each season in this life brings to life a different aspect of the Father that you could never touch, never recognize, never truly understand unless He had brought you to that exact place at that exact moment. The whole journey of this life centered on nurturing that divine relationship, entering into this great romance we have all been called to walk. During this season I have been in Africa, no matter where I am rather struggling with sickness and the lows of this life or riding on the waves of His love I can hear His continual whisper to my every question, "What can I be to you now that I could never be to you in any other circumstance, during any other time of your life?" There is something He is after in my heart, an aspect of His character that He longs to reveal to me, to show me if but I have the ears to hear, the eyes to see.        

     When you are placed in a foreign country with a foreign culture and a people that you had not known at all 5 months ago, your intimacy with the Father is tested and you begin to see what has been lacking, what is needed, and what is finished. When the fire was burning hot all my shiny exterior was stripped away my soul lay bare before my eyes and the eyes of my Maker. Yet His loving gaze never left mine and what I was lacking, what I desperately needed to possess I found in the sufficiency He is. When I was afraid, He became the courage I needed. When I was weak, than His strength was made perfect. When I felt incapable of loving anymore, of giving anymore, His perfect love shone forth and bathed us in its light. He is the all-sufficient God, the sovereign Lord. There is a rest that is found when one ceases striving and begins just trusting. When you make the startling discovery that He doesn't need you, but He wants you. A.W. Tozer puts it this way, "The hardest thought of all for our natural egotism to entertain is that God does not need our help. We commonly represent Him as a busy, eager, somewhat frustrated Father hurrying about seeking help to carry out His benevolent plan to bring peace and salvation to the world, but, as said the Lady Julian, ‘I saw truly that God doeth all-things, be it never so little.' The God who worketh all things surely needs no help and no helpers. He needs no on, but when faith is present He works through anyone." He is my all-sufficient God and He is enough for me. I can rest in the fact that whether I screw it up or not He is always that loving Father ready to hold me and teach me. My strength when I am weak, the treasure that I seek, He is my all in all. My home and my fortress. Every time I am met with that which seems to hard climb, to heavy to carry and cannot go another step, He is always there. Gently whispering His love for me and showing me a piece of His character that I have never so intimately experienced before or so desperately needed before. He is truly enough, the self-sufficient God.